Crucible
by flying-green-monkey
Summary: Felicity is not the sort of girl suppose to attend high class boarding schools. Her new friends became an escape, a way to forget a home not worth remembering. It only takes so long before two lives collide and sometimes protecting family and friends comes at the expense of one's own future.
1. Chapter 1

The bare empty room made me smile. It wasn't like back home, dark and dingy, a mattress on the floor and a dresser that was missing two of its draws.

No.

Everton Private Academy presented its students with a clean barren room, fresh sheets and plenty of light. The school was a bit pretentious, the buildings old and gothic with vast lawns and cobbled courtyards. One of America's finest they claimed.

Not the sort meant for a girl from the Glades. The address on my official scholarship application claimed I lived on the respectable Kennedy Road and a decent enough neighborhood to ensure the school board they weren't planting a bad seed among their elite.

Hacking proved to be a profitable hobby.

There was never much to bring from home. I'd always been thankful for the donated uniform. All my clothes were on the ratty side, hand-me downs that had never even seen the good days. Most of them came from Roy's older sister, who was particularly more well-endowed than myself.

Roy Harper. He was one of the few I missed. School had never agreed with him, not much agreed with him really. The boy had a temper that could set fire to the earth. Crack-pot mums never bred the most emotionally secure children though my own wasn't exactly Betty Crocker. Neither of us knew where our dads were, his took off a decade back, while mine was a shady figure in some Las Vegas night club who never left a name or number.

A duffle bag was enough to contain my entire life. A laptop, a few beloved books, and the essentials. I kept a good collection of poetry and a decent selection of Douglas Adams.

The rest of the school kids were still on the lawn taking part in prolonged goodbyes and greetings. My friends here were a limited two, not that I minded, quality over quantity and all that. Sara Lance and I were destined as the two charity cases. She was strong and athletically built and the scholarship was a ploy to get her on the sports teams and expand the school's success beyond rowing and tennis.

The looks of a cheerleader were hardened by girl with a bad streak. I loved her for it. Sara was the sort that took care of bullies in a less adult approved way. We were outcasts among the rich and elite and roommates in our first year. There was an instant liking to the other, she had a tendency to fall into trouble and I became an expert at getting her out of it.

Barry Allen was a new edition. He was the youngest son of the British ambassador. The accent should have had the girls drooling but he was the sort of person who stumbled through life and failed to impress the high standards of cool expected of our peers. The boy came from aristocracy but we didn't hold that against him, though there was a tendency to make him pay for pizza. He was good to talk to about the things Sara never much cared about, like theoretical physics and mathematics. Chemistry was the boys strong point, but like me he wasn't limited.

They were good friends, the type I intended to keep, but like Roy said, they weren't the sort to understand the Glades. Only kids from the Glades really got it. The drugs, the murders, the beatings, the rapes. The stuff you consider normal after a decade of living there. I was six the first time I got a black eye. It wasn't my last but I eventually learned how to throw one back. Being pretty and being noticed wasn't a good thing in the Glades so I made a conscious decision not to be either.

Technically I was a Las Vegas girl but Ma pissed to many people off to make staying their a viable option. Luckily for us, every large city has a sleazy upscale bar in need of a cocktail waitress with no reservations of removing clothing to keep the clients happy. My mother had a side job that I was fully aware of, it made home particularly unpleasant for the most part.

It was better at the school. Logically I knew that. School rules put a temporary end to my black beanie and usual hoodies, but an arched neck downwards came instinctually. Turns out that position here often singles you out rather than allowing you to blend in.

I was lying on my back staring at the ceiling, happy just not to be home, when my room mate came barreling. She was talking at break neck speed to a suited man carrying her luggage.

An "Oh" popped out when she saw me.

On my side there was no need for introductions.

Thea Queen. Her name reflected her title. The girl came from prestige and the closest Starling city got to royalty, I wouldn't even blink if they asked me to pay taxes.

She didn't know who I was, that was sure quick to see. Didn't matter that we'd taken AP English together, I was a pleb in her eyes.

"Who are you?" Thea spurted out, eyeing me up and down as I raised myself to a sitting position.

"Felicity Smoak, your new room mate apparently"

She looked me up and down before breaking into a smile.

"Well, I'm Thea Queen, and I think I'll be great friends"

My stomach sank at that thought but I still smiled back. Sara hated Miss Queen, and I had done so by proxy for the past year. The girl had a cruel streak in her, as did her elder brother, and Sara had been on the receiving end more than once.

"You're new here?" She enquired, making me shake my head with a sad smile.

"We were in most of the same classes last year, except IT cause that's not really your thing, I mean it could be, I'm not saying you're bad with computers, it just didn't seem to be you" I outwardly cringed as my babbling talked me into a hole. Thea stared at me for a full minute, in which I was positive I'd made a new enemy until she let out a full laugh and bounced onto my bed.

"You're pretty cute Felicity Smoak, need a bit of work in the look department, but I think a year with me will do you good"

I always knew that Thea had a mouth on her but over the next two hours I discovered how much the girl really could talk. It was a quarter to five, when she became distracted by arriving friends that I slipped away.

Finding Sara had never been a problem as the places where she, Barry, and me hid away were limited. Our favorite spot was under an old oak tree, the single disturbance on the vast sea of green lawn.

Barry was already there, a science textbook sprawled out in front of him while Sara tapped away at her phone. She looked up with a grin as I approached.

"About time Smokey Bear, we were about to send out a search party"

No matter how much I hated the name 'Smokey Bear' Sara could always get away with it. Her mischievous happiness was contagious in the worst way and got me in far more trouble than I ever intended.

"New room mate" I said plopping myself on the grass. The light was fading fast but we weren't eager to be returning indoors, particularly for the socially stratified dinning experience.

"Yeah?" Barry prompted, looking up from his book.

"Thea Queen" My explanation would suffice and both my friends winced.

"Shit, here I thought it bad with Helena Bertinelli, though Barry has it rough with Merlyn, the asshat and not wizard."

I shot my gangly friend a look of pity. Tommy had been his roommate last year and Barry ended up sleeping on the common room couch more than once. Tommy was indiscrete when it came to flings.

Both of my friends were nearly two years older than me, though Barry always came across as younger. He was painfully shy and easily got himself flustered when the out of ordinary occurred. Tommy upset his routine as a sport just to watch Barry flounder. At sixteen, my friend looked more like a ten year old who had an unexpected growth spurt. Nothing about him seemed to come natural. I found it endearing and in my own social awkwardness could sympathize.

The group dynamic was odd, maybe not me and Barry so much, but Sara and her staggering confidence pushed us into the mishap territory.

Sara glanced at her watch.

"We better get going back, can't afford any misbehavior this year"

I rolled my eyes, knowing better "That's what you said last time, right before the great skinny dipping escapade"

Barry let out a snort in agreement, it was suppose to be in disproval but I could see a smile lifting up his eyes. Sara made both our lives more interesting. She was a mix of cool and collect that could barely contain a far too adventurous nature. The confidence was unfaltering in herself and us.

We walked to the dining hall, Sara linking her arm into mine her head leaning on my shoulder. It was her way of saying she missed me. Summer holidays were apparently uneventful in the Lance household, she had an older sister, just a year above us, but the two were fire and ice with no force on earth powerful enough to get them to agree.

The dining hall was divided into the four long tables and supervised by a matron who had yet to realize the world had moved past Spanish court ceremony, even the Habsburgs considered it old in 1770. We ducked in and took our place in the kitchen line another group of late comers on our tails.

Thea Queen's voice came before I saw her and Sara's mouth pinched together at the sound, the popular crowd was coming near.

If America had nobility, these were their offspring. The Queen siblings stood at its helm, staying true to their name, though it was their self-assurance and confidence that made them leaders. Oliver's lackeys were never far behind, particularly Tommy Merlyn, whose father's company was the only true competitor of Queen consolidated. The only non-billionaire in their vicious circle of friends was Laurel. Laurel Lance. Unlike Sara, the world of the high and mighty suited the girl despite her air of righteousness. I didn't hate Laurel. She always offered a smile in my direction even if she couldn't remember my name. Though I was closer to Sara's age, they'd placed me in the higher year group for particular classes such as mathematics and much of the sciences. A fourteen year old stuck with the seventeen year olds, not the best idea on school's part, meant that my timetable was bit of a mess and there was little interaction with anyone my age. Sara and Barry were never too bothered by the fact I was fourteen, I'd never been very good at being young and aside from a slight height disadvantage is was generally forgotten.

Truth was, I wasn't as much of a genius as it sounds, just spent a lot of time studying, not much else to do in the long summer holidays.

'Ollie, this is her, my new roommate, Felicity Smoak. Cute, huh?'

For the first time, Oliver Queen looked at me, his eyebrow slightly raised.

'What are you doing here? Aren't you like twelve?'

My head bowed; even through I knew Sara was praying for me to keep it up.

'Fourteen actually' I felt Sara move around me, her back straightening.

'You got a problem with geniuses, Queen? We sure as hell know you ain't one'

Oliver's face softened at Sara's stand, turning into the smirk that liked to settle on his face.

'Why don't you guys sit with us?' He offered in treaty 'Let Thea get to know Felicity… and me to know you'

Laurel gave him a sharp elbow in the ribs, 'muttering that's my sister', as Sara let out a scoff. But as she did it her eyes lifted up and a light blush hinted at her cheeks. Barry seemed lost in the whole situation, following us blindly to the head of the middle table, a spot we never thought we'd occupy.

The year seemed to have set its sights on being different.


	2. Chapter 2

My fifteenth birthday wasn't supposed to be a big deal. Roy and I were dismissive with those sorts of events. We'd eat at Big Belly Burger, skip school for the day, and generally ignore the absence of parents and presents.

Previous teachers had never given much thought to the quiet scholarship kid, let alone their birthday. But I had Mr. Diggle this year, a tall ex-military man who took a liking to me and I to him. He was a History teacher and a bit of a hardass in the way that helps when filled with a classroom of self-entitled adolescence.

I glared at the man as he began to speak, his eyes had sparked and a smile hinted at his lips

"Happy Birthday, Miss Smoak, glad you finally reached it to fifteen" The damage was done. They all knew, History was the class with Thea and Sara, both who looked at me with mild hurt expressions whilst I tried to bury myself into the desk, melt to the floor, anything to remove me from the suddenly claustrophobic room.

Barry patted me on the shoulder in sympathy.

Them knowing made things complicated. There'd be questions about presents and going home for the weekend suddenly became obligatory to appear normal. Worst of all was the expectation of a celebration.

A girl from the Glades didn't do those things, at least not in the way the well-adjusted did. But Felicity Smoak from Kennedy Lane was suppose to. If the school wasn't catholic I would have pleaded as Jehovah's Witness. That would have gotten me out of birthdays and Christmases.

Class finished too quickly and my escape wasn't fast enough.

'Its your birthday and you didn't tell us!' Thea demanded, and in rarity Sara was nodding her head in agreement. It'd been several months since our induction into the so-called popular crowd, in part due to Thea's adoption of me, her so called stray.

I shuffled my feet and muttered about not wanting to be a bother. These two girl's held my trust and loyalty but I wasn't about to start my sad little tale of home.

Ma had her moments but they were too few for normalcy.

I loved Ma no matter how angry I got. Isn't that always the way? We love the people who hurt us the most.

'Come on 'Lis, you know you're not a bother' Sara softened, she was more use to my evasive behavior. 'Are you going home in the weekend, maybe we could do something then?'

'Like a house party!' Thea interjected and my eyes widened in horror.

'Or not' Sara quickly rebutted throwing the Queen girl a glare.

'Dinner' I finally relented 'How 'bout we go for out for dinner on Saturday'

Thea squealed while Sara just smiled, that soft but cool smile she managed so well.

Plans were set out quickly when Thea was involved, she insisted on a high-class restaurant promising to pay when hesitations were made, then waved off further protests.

The Elder scrolls theme song interrupted Thea's rapid succession of ideas and I pulled my old phone out of my pocket.

'Hey Abercrombie' I answered knowing exactly who was on the other end.

'You up for a mid-night break out?' Roy asked expectantly. I glanced at my friends guiltily and tried to subtly step away, shielding my conversation.

'Course, wouldn't miss it. Though I actually got leave so maybe 'no' on the great escape font'

There was a groan, 'now whats the fun in that?'

'I'll see you later, pick me up in half an hour, Roy' and snapped the phone shut, aware of the silence between my two friends. Sara had a slight smirk, while Thea's was an outright grin. It was odd. These two could barely stand each other but when I came down to me against them they were an disturbingly well-paired.

Thea broke first.

'Sooo… who's Roy?'

The blush wasn't intentional; the kid and me were practically siblings.

'My best friend' I'd meant to exclude the 'best' but it tumbled out from constant use and justification. What came next was verbal vomit, a desperation to fix the situation and explain away the growing smiles on my friend's face. 'From my old school, like obviously you guys are my best friends here, but I have other friends, not from here… but there, from before all this.'

My eyes were widening and cool as anything Sara suggested that invite him to dinner if he was such a good friend. I blanched. Separation was key to happiness and success in the new world I'd established myself in. Not that I was ashamed of Roy, but I was different with him than here.

With him there wasn't anything to hide, he knew the worst of it and been there since the beginning. Our humor could turn dark and our language got pretty foul time to time. Together we were tough, the people the Glades made us be. Here, I was the naïve and innocent, bubbly and light. Neither side was false or true, just different circumstance.

'I guess I can ask him, but I better get going, dinner with the parents'

'They're coming to pick you up? Can I meet them? Pleases…' Thea asked innocently. It was a genuine request, I'd meet her mother and even been invited to a Sunday lunch though it had been met with a polite but stammering decline.

A second blush quickly followed a second squeal as I muttered my reply, 'actually, Roy said he'd pick me up'. An introduction became unavoidable.

On birthdays and holidays, the times you were expected to go home, Roy would pick me up. I was aptly aware of Thea following me to my room and watching as pulled out my duffle bag. Going home for almost every weekend meant she rarely saw me out of uniform. Eyes followed me as I sifted through my clothes, finally pulling out a somewhat nice navy dress.

Thea winced.

'I love you Felicity, but that is quite possibly the most boring birthday dress I have ever seen'. My roommate declared in an unimpressed tone as I emerged from the shared bathroom. Months had waned my nervousness around the older girl so my once shuffling feet became an ignoring shrug at yet another Queen disproval towards my fashion sense..

'We're not going anywhere fancy' in fact Big Belly Burger was where I was destined to spend the night. Carly, the manager, let us sleep on the booths on occasion. We'd always mop floors and wipe the tables as a thank you. Sometimes they'd be free food when we looked nothing but skin and bones.

I pulled my long brown hair into a ponytail and fixed my glasses, which sat a little crooked.

'Well, I'll see you tomorrow then… I'm staying at my parent's place tonight.' Lie but more acceptable than the truth.

'Wait, wait!' Thea said bouncing 'I want to meet your best friend'

There wasn't an excuse on earth that could keep Thea away so I just prayed that Roy was planning to catch the bus back to Starling city and hadn't ridden his motorcycle in. Lucky for him he looked older than fifteen and had a fake license since fourteen. I denied any part in his obtaining of it.

A growl and vibration proved me wrong. As Thea and I stepped out of the grand entrance, a motorcycle came roaring down the large driveway that circled a water feature.

Thea's mouth dropped and I made a determined effort to ignore her expression.

'Blondie!' Roy yelled pulling off his helmet and I couldn't help myself. He'd ended up in a group home five month ago, the sort that rivaled a military academy and was two steps from juvie. Visitation was limited to immediate family, I tried playing the half-sister card but these folks seemed smarter than the last.

I ran and jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist and burying my head into his shoulder. His shoulders vibrated as he laughed.

'And you said you didn't miss me'

He accused, placing me safely on my feet but swinging his arms up around my shoulders.

'You're a moron' I retaliated with not much else to say.

'Happy Birthday, Fee, you ready to go?'

A small cough sounded behind me and we both turned.

'Oh, ah, this is Thea' I stumbled into the introduction 'My roommate. Thea this is Roy, my best friend'

Roy was pretty terrible when it came to flirting, and how he managed to get laid was beyond me. Still I was impressed with his effort as he stepped forward with a half smile and shook her hand. Roy maintained that he hated this place and the rich folks that resided around me. It was inverted snobbery of the highest degree. But Thea Queen wasn't just a rich girl, she was pretty, and leaving it there could be a bit of an understatement. The girl got good genes but it more than that, she was confidant and fun, a force to be reckoned with.

'I'll let you to go' Thea gave me quick hug 'Happy Birthday, hope you have a nice dinner with your parents'

Roy snorted and I shoved him in the ribs, smiling brightly.

'Thanks Thea, we will'

With that Roy handed me his helmet. I'd told him to buy a second but the boy was an idiot with a death wish. He climbed onto the bike with me following, wrapping my hands around his waist.

I knew what Thea thought she saw and that the group would be hounding me Friday, but at that moment I didn't care. Roy was here and as we drove away from the academy I felt myself revert back to that girl from the Glades. As much as I liked to escape my home neighborhood, it felt good to fall back into the familiar rhythm of things. Roy and Felicity. Felicity and Roy. Up against the world.

It was too early for Big Belly when we entered the Glades, between four and eight the diner had its rush, first of school kids and then of dinner patrons. The later it got the more quieter it'd be. Sometimes me and Roy were the only people there and Carly would switch from the usual top forty to old school Jazz. The place felt calm and safe in comparison to the happenings outside.

'Lets walk to my house' I said when he finally pulled up outside the run-down shack he called home 'I want to pick up some computer parts I left behind'

Computer building was a hobby Thea barely stood for. My weekends were consumed with it and with her gone I could spread out across the floor. The problem came when I left tiny bits and bobs out by accident and they acted as lethal traps for the bare footed mornings.

Roy hesitated.

'You sure you want to go there Lis, the things I heard, they ain't that good' His words halted me, my insides sinking.

'It'll be quick' Careful not to miss a beat. Things began to crash if you stopped and thought too much.

The cocktail waitresses working at Lian Yu tended to live in the same complex. It was scam and scary one. Mr. Wilson controlled everything. I'd never been so scared of anyone as I knew the rumors. Fortunately Ma was pretty good at what she did, vertigo addict or not, she had a way with men that I had not inherited and typically pleased enough clients to keep Mr. Wilson happy.

Our apartment was shared with one of the dancers, a twenty-five year old girl, Mia Deerden, who once thought she'd be on the Broadway stage. When I was home she'd teach me to sing and dance all the classic numbers. We'd set up the living room and rehearse 'sixteen going on seventeen', even jumping on the furniture and spinning a little too excessively at points. Mia declared me a natural even as I stumble through every step.

'How about I meet you at Big Belly around eight-thirty' I added with a smile. Sometimes home had to be dealt on your own, Roy understood and gave me a brief nod.

For such a notorious neighborhood, the Glades wasn't that big. Home sweet home with bordered up windows and alley entrance. The neon sign of Lian Yu could be seen a couple buildings down, far more well kept than our concrete block with faulty wiring and flickering lights.

I opened the door, 34B, knowing it'd be unlocked. Unless you were paying no one messed with Mr. Wilson's girls.

'Ma?' I called out haphazardly, not expecting an answer or company. Mia would be warming up at the club and Ma should have been in the dressing rooms. Not on our living room couch. Not with a busted lip, and not with Mr. Wilson standing over her.

'Felicity, what are you doing here, baby?' Baby. She sounded like a mother when she talked to me that way.

'It's my birthday' I stuttered, not disappointed she forgot, 'Roy and I are grabbing dinner'.

My eyes flicked to Mr. Wilson. A tall and imposing man who immediately pulled all power in the room.

'Your daughter?' Mr. Wilson asked in interest and my mother nodded. The injuries were worse than just a bruised lip; her left eye was blackened and swollen shut, make up and hair smudged in the aftermath of a disaster.

'What happened, Ma?' I stepped towards to her but a large hand stopped on my shoulder.

'Your mother's fine, love, just a bit of a rough up last night' He pulled my chin up. For a moment our eyes met, I quickly looked down knowing they were wide in fear.

He chuckled then reached for his back pocket, taking out his wallet.

'Its your birthday, huh? How old are you turning, sweetheart?'

I glance at Ma, and then back to him.

'Fifteen' came a squeak several decibels too high.

'Growing up, you'll be pretty one' He took out a fifty-dollar note and handed it to me 'Have dinner on me, love, me and your mother just need to finish our little talk'

I look at my mother. No matter how scared I was if she wanted me to stay I would have. But she didn't. She looked away.

'Go Felicity' Her words cold.

'But Ma…'

Mr. Wilson pushed my shoulder gently. I let my feet drag me to the door a hesitancy to stay before the door slammed shut.

Arriving at Big Belly Burger I was far too early for Roy. I sat up by the counter and offered Carly a weak smile.

'Happy Birthday, Honeybee' She greeted, leaning over the bench to kiss my cheek 'I was wondering when you'd stop by'

'It's a tradition' I pulled myself out of the shock of home and repeated my greeting smile, this time bigger and more commonly me.

'So I heard a little rumor about you'

Eyebrows creased at this comment and Carly laughed.

'Turns out my favorite ex brother-in-law happens to be your history teacher'

I blanched, mouth hanging down in shock.

'Mr. Diggle?'

That made her grin.

'The very same. He was over the other night and talking about this wonderful shy student he had in his class called Felicity Smoak, and I told him that I knew a very mischievous girl by the very same name, who just happened to have a birthday coming up.'

My head fell into my arms and I groaned.

'Did you really have to tell my teacher that? He announced it to the whole class!'

Carly gave me a pat on my shoulder.

'I'll have you know, I take great pride in embarrassing you whenever I can. It's a sign that you are well loved in this little ol' diner of mine'

She pushed a chocolate milkshake in my direction, complete with excessive whipped cream and a cherry on top.

'Happy Birthday, Felicity' She repeated before turning back to her actual customers. Carly was cross between a mother and sister for me. I could gossip to her about boys while she'd harass me about eating healthily, placing a much needed limit on how many bowls of curly fries I could consume in one sitting.

Silently I wondered how much she told Mr. Diggle about me. Carly knew a lot about Roy and I's up bringing, it was hard to hide. Donna Smoak was well known in these parts, more than once I'd bought her in to help nurse a hang over or distract from the pain of withdrawals.

I moved to a both as customers departed, watching the last folks leave under a curtain of hair. It was a dirty-blonde sort of color that I'd already considered dying. Say what you will about my mother, but she was a beautiful woman with light gold hair. When I was little I envied her, begging Ma to let me brush out the long blonde curls. A few years older and I'd spot our matching roots, turned out she wasn't Rapunzel after all.

'You're here early' Roy pulled me out of my thoughts 'home that bad?'

'Worse… usual shit' It wasn't but that explanation would be enough.

Mention Mr. Wilson's presence led to too many questions I didn't have the answers for. Roy might have needed to know as my friend but the knowledge wouldn't help with his general survival. Mixing with Mr. Wilson tended to be bad for one's general health.

'So, that friend of yours?' He raised an eyebrow and I scoffed.

'Miss Queen might be a little out of our league don't you think?'

Roy lifted his hands in surrender.

'Oh, so I'm not good enough for your fancy new peers!' He mockingly accused. I reached over and gave him a light whack on the head, he avoided with a duck.

'You know that ain't what I meant. We're from here while they're locked up in a paper mache of money.' Roy snorted at the vision and added,

'Nothin' but hamsters in a hamster ball'

'She'd break your heart though' I added seriously 'Bad boys are good at pissing off the parents but, you've seen how those relationships go. Anyone outside of the Glades leaves eventually, right when they want that white picket fence'

'I ain't thinking far enough to that Blondie, we aren't all tragic romantics set to have their heart broken. But seriously, tell me about these new friends? Anything I should be worried about, Thea did invite me to dinner after all'

So launched into descriptions. My new friends were so different to any I had before. Thea and I had become close, it was the better of three choices when having a roommate. You hate the person, become indifferent, or bond. From the moment we met Thea decided on the latter to be our course of action. Sweet and bubbly but the girl had untended cruel streak when things turned south. One thing she couldn't stand was disloyalty and her dad committed that crime with every pretty intern who offered a little more than a smile. The scandal came out during summer, pictures spread two-fold over every magazine that cared, which happened to be many.

Oliver, her older brother by a year, must have known. His reaction was outwardly minimal as their parents proceeded in a messy public divorce. All relief could be found in one-night stands, bad behavior, and the bottom of a bottle, assisted all the way with Tommy Merlyn in tow.

The single member of the group I didn't understand was the gorgeous Laurel Lance. She was righteous to a fault and never wrong. Her relationship with Oliver came in waves, only their friendship remaining somewhat constant. She could hurt him just as much as he could hurt her, it was mutually assured destruction and the rest of us were just hoping they'd never fall too deep and pull the trigger.

Barry, Sara, and I were still a trio, we're just attached to others now and that wasn't so bad. The worst only came when Sara and Laurel went head to head. Sara was the only person who could make the great Laurel Lance revert to a snobby twelve year old child who stomped her feet. It was an enjoyable sight.

'Do you want me to come?' Roy asked, interrupting my stream of babble.

My teeth hit my bottom lip, biting hard.

'It'll just be strange, I've never seen them outside school'

'But what about me? Causes I can duck out, I get it Fee, they don't know about the Glades and I'm a bit of a give-away'

I shook my head. This was Roy, earnest Roy who lacked all awareness of self-importance. But he was important, to me more than anything in the world.

'I want to have you there; I want you to meet them. Its just a bit scary, two halves of my life colliding'

The thought of telling them the truth flittered through my mind. Would their opinions change? I didn't care much about Oliver or Tommy, and knew Sara wouldn't bat an eyelid, but Thea?

'Tell them' Roy said, reading my silence 'If they don't like it, screw them. But this Sara, and Thea, you like them right?'

I nodded.

'If they're good people they shouldn't care. Maybe they won't understand, but the Glades isn't exactly a place that makes sense even for the people living here, but you can tell it slowly. They don't need to know everything'

Roy took my hand. He had his moments of sentiment.

'I can be there. If those rich pricks get snobby we'll up and leave, make a bit of scene and go out with a bang, huh?'

A laugh escapes. Maybe it would be the problem I racked it up to be. They didn't need to know about Ma, but the rest of it, the truth would provide a bit of explanation and maybe I owed them that.

For the better or worse a decision was made.


	3. Chapter 3

Within a day I had become a blonde. Not that I hadn't been a blond before, but the colour had been darker filled with brown and always looking as though it needed a good wash.

I told Roy Thea forced me, omitting my eagerness when propositioned. Professionally done, my hair had been cut and colored and I felt infinitely lighter. My hair had become golden, the sort the captures the sunlight and holds it there.

Sara laughed as I peeked at the bedroom mirror for a third time while Thea just grinned at her achievement.

'See I told you it'd look good!' She declared and Sara shook her head.

'I don't think she needed much convincing, Queen'

Thea invited us to the Queen family manor to get ready for the infamous birthday dinner, still refusing to tell me exactly where we were going. We had spent the morning shopping walking around the high-class district of Starling City. After borrowing a dress from Thea, I actually looked like I belonged, heels clicking on the pavement, our arms linked. Sara said the whole situation was ridiculous and scorned the high class boutiques in a successful campaign to annoy Thea, but I could tell from her face she enjoyed the day, stomping through the world of elite in a black leather jacket and combat boots.

I didn't care is Thea was treating me like a doll, I felt pretty in the borrowed clothes and new haircut.

People forget how much that can mean, feeling pretty. Dressing nicely made me feel put together, like I was unscrambling my brain, pulling together cohesive thoughts for the first time.

'Whens Roy getting here?' Sara asked, making me look up.

Today I was going to tell them. It didn't need to be everything, just the foundation and even for that, Roy's presence was essential.

'Should be soon, he'll flick me a text when he's at the gate'

'And you're sure there aren't any other friends you want to invite' Thea chimed for the sixth time. I took a breath.

'There isn't really anyone else' I tried out the truth 'Just Roy and me. Guess we were a bit self-absorbed when it came to others'

We didn't even try to make friends in elementary school, kept to ourselves, ignoring the world. I knew the sort of people he hung out now that I was gone, they usually weren't bad people but had a tendency to do bad things. Can't say we were any different, I'd committed my fair share of shoplifting and over excelled when it came to hacking.

My phone whistled, indicating Roy's arrival, causing Thea to leap forwards and rush downstairs. I didn't bother to go after her, instead waiting with Sara who seemed even ill at ease in the girlish bedroom of Thea Queen, choosing to stay perched at the edge of the canopy bed.

'To be honest I expected a little more pink' Sara said after catching my eye then looking around causing me too laugh. The room, though tasteful, but certainly did not need anymore pink.

Thea floated from the hallway, chatting rapidly while Roy made small grunts in agreement. He smiled when he saw me.

'Hey Blondie, you certainly live up to the name now' He gave my hair a flick but I saw his eyes darken. Dressing nicely could get you into trouble in the Glades and in previous years I'd become cautious at home with looser clothing and baseball caps.

The Glades. I was going to tell them today, Roy was here to make sure of it, but how does one even start that conversation. Do you scream it from the rooftops? Admit it guiltily? Slip the words casually into conversation?

'So should we get going then?' I pulled myself from the confessional pressure.

Thea nodded eagerly 'Yep, we'll leave once Tommy, Ollie, and Laurel arrive.'

Sara pulled a face as the last name was said, causing Roy and me to stifle a giggle.

'Yeah, yeah, I know. Laurel isn't exactly the picture of fun, but we can't not invite her'

I would have been happy with just us, and Barry of course. Tommy and Oliver paid little attention to me. The latter liked to flirt with Sara, making trouble between the sisters. They were playing a dangerous game that I didn't want any part of.

'And Barry will meet us down there, right?' Thea added, looking at me.

Barry had been reserved about the changes made in friendship circles, our trio becoming part of the cool crowd. I understood his feelings easier than Sara, who though disliked Thea was far more socially adept than either Barry or me.

Barry became silent in their company, only speaking up when prompted. He flustered more, saying the wrong things and causing his arms to wave about, desperate to amend misunderstandings. He made few good impressions on the Queen siblings. As consequence, Barry and I started spending time on our own, usually in the school labs. Forensics was his forte and I loved hearing him sing it. He'd still flounder his arms about trying convey the vastness of knowledge, something bigger than himself. His eyes would be alight and his voice became rapid. Then I'd catch his eye and he'd stop and just grin. I got it. I got what he was saying. I understood it. We'd stand there grinning cause we knew how rare that was.

Other people just called us nerds when the excitement we felt for science flooded into conversations, but with each other it was understanding.

Oliver's voice called from the lobby, indicating his arrival and our near departure. Thea raced about, grabbing her purse and coat, then changing them last minute to co-ordinate her outfit. Sara rolled her eyes and got up, pulling me with her.

We were an odd looking group. Oliver and Tommy were sporting suits, Laurel and Thea looked high end and glamorous, Roy and Sara came in black and leather, a hint of danger and rebel. Me? In a borrowed dress and new hair do, I certainly didn't look like my usual self. Awkward and lanky but there was potential, I wasn't as out of place as usual but neither did I fit in entirely.

The restaurant Thea choose was up market with stylish décor and sleek waiters. Roy and I made eye contact before he went back to examining his surroundings, taking note of the relaxed setting and casual purses slung on the backs of chairs. Wallets sticking from coat pockets. Idiot. My elbow connected with his ribs.

'Don't even think about it, stickyfingers' I hissed in his ear but his grin had already been passed to me.

'But they're just asking for it Fee, ain't nobody going to know' Now he was just goading me.

They seated us at a long table, Oliver somehow ending next to me as Roy subtly made his way to Thea's side. The boy was smitten by the girl and had shaken my warnings. Thea was lovely but fast relationships appeared to be a Queen family trait.

'How old you turning again, shortstuff?' Oliver asked suddenly, pulling me from my observations.

'Fifteen'. Finally.

'Aren't you a little young to be in my classes, or even Thea's?'

A voice from behind answered for me.

'Geniuses get special privileges… Happy Birthday, Felicity' Barry leaned in, giving me a hug and siting down to my other side, a small present placed on the table.

It was wrapped in pink striped paper with an orange bow.

My smile began to beam.

'I don't think I've ever been given a wrapped present before' I said absently, lifting up the small package and examining it with glee. I didn't want to open it, ruin the effect.

The boys were looking at me oddly.

'Just open it already' Roy called out to me from across the table.

My fingers played with the bow before finally tugging it and I meticulously peeled the tape. I had unattached the first corner of paper when the clear bell tone of my phone rang out, signaling an identified number. Barry waved a hand as I threw him an apologetic look and flipped my phone open.

Formal calls begin the same way. When Roy ended up in a jail cell, the police would call, I'd hacked into their computers and changed his contact details. His first minor demeanor ended him up in the foster system for two months and since then we had gained the particular talent of getting each other out of messes.

'Is this Miss Felicity Smoak, daughter of Donna Smoak?' the caller asked in the familiar but dreaded way. My eyes automatically landed on Roy, whose gaze still lay on Thea, hanging off her light laugh and rapid speech. Only Oliver and Barry had taken not of my call.

'Yes, this is she'

The boys' looks became more pointed. Phrases such as those rarely led to good news.

'Your mother has been admitted to Starling City Hospital earlier this evening, you're listed as her emergency contact detail'

'Okay, thank you, I'll be there as soon as possible' Automatic. The response sounded dry and wrong, unnatural. But else is there to say? Demand answers from people who probably knew minimal?

My hands smoothed my dress and in a strong voice I announced to a table already rambling with conversations:

'I better go'

Thea's head jolted up. I explained before her mouth formed words.

'My ma, she's in the hospital, I better go'

The last part cracked and Roy caught it, jumping on the word and forming the question.

'They say what for?'

My head tilted sideways. I didn't care who heard.

'You want to place your bet? Drug overdose or beating?'

Harsh and bitter. I was tired of this shit. Tired of the woman I loved with all my heart. The phone call always came, announcing the worse, causing stability to fracture. You could peel it like rotting wallpaper, bit by bit until the whole wall stood bare.

'I can take you' Oliver surprised me 'I'm the only one with a car' he added after a moment.

We stood, Sara and Thea rising too with determination.

My head fell and in a feeble attempt I reasoned

'But the dinner…' not even bothing to finish the sentence. These were my friends. Roy, Thea, Sara, and Barry didn't give a damn about the fancy restaurant and even Oliver was willing to rise to the occasion.

The car ride was silent. Thea kept her arm around me in a half hug while I sat stoic. Roy's face was as just about as grim as mine.

I should have told him about Mr. Wilson.

'Donna Smoak' I asked at the hospital reception, my voice surprisingly clear though I was leaning a little too heavily into Thea's supporting grip. A kindly nurse directed while offering a sympathetic smile as she regarded my age.

'Don't worry, you're father is already here. He's taking care of everything'

I gaped. From the end of the hall I could make out a dark looming figure, whose shape and stature came with dreaded familiarity.

'Fee…' Roy began.

I ducked out of Thea's grip and turned to my old friend. My bother, the only reliable family I had.

'Get out of here, Roy' Then adding to the others 'all of you, get out of here not'

Sara began to protest but Roy was already pushing them back down the hall, despite the struggles. I hoped my next words would silent them, a sacrifice that would lead to an inevitable explanation being made. Roy would come back but I knew he'd make sure the rest were safe.

'If you guys care about me, please, please leave'

My voice carried down the corridor and the figure turned. Mr. Wilson was not my father but I was pretty sure he was the man who claimed the title, if just for a day. His presence here made me sick with fear.

'Felicity' Mr. Wilson called and walked in quick strides towards me. He pulled me into an embrace, stating loudly.

'Your mother's going to be just fine, I promise' He said the words with care and comfort though his hand held the back of my neck and squeezed it firmly, pushing my head into his chest, so the soft yelp I made in response was muffled.

When he let go, Mr. Wilson took my hand like a small child and led me to my mother. The room was private, a nurse giving a small nod as she closed the door behind us.

Instinctively, I moved towards the hospital bed where tall blonde lay in amongst a mass of wires and beeping but strong hand pulled me back and forced me into a chair. Kneeling, Mr. Wilson caged me with his arms whilst staring intently.

'Your mother's been doing bad things, Felicity, Do you know anything about that?' He began, the tone of his voice still warm but edged with darkness and danger.

My head shook widely in answer, trying to peer around him at my injured mother.

Mr. Wilson chuckled and pulled away slightly.

'Well, what are we going to do about that, Love? Your mother won't be making any money for me now. Do you want to see her? She's quite a sight'

He nudged me with his foot when I didn't move.

'Get up and see'

Slowly I stood, my legs unreliable under my weight. He pushed me close to the bed, where the air stunk thickly of disinfectant, barely covering the stale stench of blood and open wounds. Her hands and face were covered in bandages so thick features could barely be distinguished.

'You'll have to trust me when I say she won't be a looker anymore, not with the scars, and those hands…. She had exceptionally pretty hands, it's a true pity' Mr. Wilson said. I could no longer tell if my shaking was from fear or anger. No matter which my tongue was held in a paralyzed terror.

The man directed me towards the seat again, this time sitting first and pulling me onto his lap, cradling me, as a father would to his distressed daughter. My paralysis snapped and attempted to disentangle myself from his grip but he held me firmly in place, chastising lightly.

'No, Love, you're going stay siting here, when the police come, you'll tell them I'm you father. I want you to look the part. Do you understand? Good. Now I'm going to ask you again, do you know why your mother is here?'

I shook my head, causing him to sigh.

'Your mother has been stealing from me. Not much, but its added up over the years. She didn't take my warning seriously and I felt I needed to amend that. But you see I have a problem, Felicity. That debt hers has grown larger, even more so since I'm paying for medical. I need that debt to be paid. As her daughter it passes to you. Unfair, particularly considering how young you are. But nevertheless, it needs to be paid. Do you know how you're going to do that?'

He asked without expecting an answer.

'I am not an unreasonable man. As long as you follow my rules, I will let you finish school, even attend university if you're good, I have heard your grades are exceptional, but you will work for me. You will work for me until I tell you otherwise. Do you understand?'

His hand came to my hair, petting it softly, and then moved to force my face towards his.

'Do you understand?'

Mr. Wilson repeated and I nodded. I wanted to shake my head, scream refusal, but rebellion died in my throat. The man seemed barely human, even with his soft tone.

'Good girl'

His grip loosened but I didn't move. The world had crashed. My world had crashed. It was gone, even with ma lying in a hospital bed I felt a burning anger towards her, the sort that's lit in the belly, mixing with worry and terror and the unmovable love I felt as a daughter.

Gone. Everything.

I had a future planned; the main goal had been escape. I wanted normality, an ordinary sort of goodness, be a person who never had to question right and wrong. A boring life filled with safety and security. Maybe I'd hack once or twice, I couldn't quite bare giving that up, but it wouldn't be so I could feed myself or pay next weeks rent. I would be good and I would be ordinary.

My whole body slumped, shoulders and head lowering, the tears broke forth without an introduction. shifted as he felt the salty water hit his hands. The man began to rock me, a small smile on his face.

'Sweetheart, it's the way it has to be, you're not like your mother. You'll be a good girl; you'll follow my instructions and you'll be loyal.'

When the police finally came we still in that position. I recognized the detective as Sara's dad; he looked at me intently with curiosity disguised by professionalism. When they asked my whether this man was my father I nodded.

The lies came easily to Mr. Wilson. Stating he found ma in alley when he came to pick me. His story spun a web that left little need for questioning.

'I think I'll take my daughter home now. It has been a trying day' the police nodded in understanding but Detective Lance, looking at me a little more firmly than the rest, spoke up.

'I think it's best if we talk to Felicity first'

I had met the man before in passing when he came to pick up Laurel and Sara from the school. His demeanor had been different then, his features softening as his daughters met him with running hugs. Now the man was hard. Not dark or cruel, but stern and honest, the material that made the best sort of cops.

He was looking at me, searching my face for truths and lies. My eyes found the floor and staunchly avoid the questioning gaze.

Mr. Wilson's voice came colder than before.

'My daughter has been at boarding school, besides, did you not capture the muggers? There is no need for questioning' the sentence secured his exit and his hand guided me to the door. I didn't intend to look back. I meant to keep my gaze firmly lowered and obedient. Looking over my shoulder was an instinct and catching Detective Lance's gaze a chance. Our eyes met and suddenly the past hour spread across my face. I looked at Detective Lance with a terrified expression and he understood.

Everything was wrong, terribly, terribly wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry its so late for me to be saying this, but thank you for all the people who have reviewed, its really encouraging. Hopefully i can update more, i had a lot of assignments due and things got a tad hectic. **

Waking up in ones clothes from the day before was a strange sensation. For the longest time I laid there, on a soft and foreign bed, yesterdays dress tangled and hitched among my legs.

Sunlight had woken me. The bright kind with slight scorn at the late lazy risers. Usually, I was an early bird ready for the mythical morning worm. At home and in the dorm I'd be fully dressed at seven. Today there was a feeling in my gut that I'd slept long past my biological alarm, letting my body fall into the sluggish state that follows too much sleep.

At first, I thought the soft tisk was my own imagination, and I buried my head deep into the pillows. Then a hand touched my shoulder.

A cold rush was flung from my stomach, causing me to sit up violently and look around the unfamiliar room.

An older woman stood in front of me and stepped back in shock, then smiled as a peace offering.

'Hello, Miss' She looked me up and down and sighed at my state. Tears had dried and crusted over my face, making it feel stiff and awkward, my eyes were dry but no doubt red.

'My name ist Raisa' She said in a strong Russian accent 'now you better get out of those clothes'

Raisa opened the door to a large walk in closet and pulled out a dress and cardigan, examining them before holding the clothing out to me, still sitting in bed.

'Go and have a shower, Mr. Wilson wants to speak to you at breakfast'

My eyes widened and hands began to shake and the lady's expression softened, fearing I was about to cry.

'Oh no, zayushka, no, no, no. It's fine. Everything ist fine' Her arms wrapped around me. Not like last time when Mr. Wilson held me, but warm and comforting 'shhhhh, shhhh zayushka moya, shhh'

The tears had started again. I was fifteen and felt like five desperate for someone's assurance to tell me when I was safe and convince me everything was going to be alright. Raisa placed a kiss on my forehead not caring I was a stranger and then prompted me to stand up.

'Go have a shower' She repeated as I wiped my eyes trying to remove the sleep and tears.

Mr. Wilson had taken me to his penthouse following our encounter at the hospital. Leaving had been hard. Roy put up a fight screaming and flaying as Mr. Wilson led me out. His temper went wild and his mouth ran away with profanities, but strong hands pulled him away to the shadows.

The penthouse that overlooked Starling City through expansive glass windows and balconies. The place was modern and sleek with details of luxury.

My shaking intensified. Water streamed over me as I turned on the shower but last night wasn't washing away, no matter how hard I scrubbed.

I stepped out and cleared the foggy mirror. The sight wasn't pretty. Dark shadows framed tired eyes; the image looking more tragic as water droplets ran down my face proving an illusion of tears.

The dress Raisa gave me was sweet and girlish, a soft sky blue with little printed white birds covered the fabric. A knock on the door made jump and quickly pull the dress over my head.

'Come in'

Raisa entered and let out an audible sigh when seeing my mess of blonde hair.

'What are we going to do with that?' Her 'w's were pronounced as 'v's and when she clicked her tongue with 'that' an 'zs' replaced the first two letters. The accent gave soft reminders of Vegas and the Russian couple that lived next door to our apartment. They'd been kind to me and let me stay for dinner regularly.

Raisa brushed out my wet hair and pulled it tightly into a strict French braid then patted my cheek lightly.

'Go on now' All her gestures were so familial and it was comfortable and easy to accept them.

'I'm Felicity' I said, turning. It seemed awkward to hold out my hand when she'd already held me in her arms. A little smile continued from her previous.

'I know, Zayushka, I'll be looking after you know. How about you call me babushka.'

She patted me on the head and softly pushed me out of the room and into an open living area where Mr. Wilson sat waiting at the breakfast table.

'Good morning, love'

The only other seat faced him. I tried to appear stronger today and look the man directly in the eyes, not shying away. He laughed a small chuckle. The man was unflinching and unremorseful. There'd always been stories about him and what he'd done. Some called him 'Deathstroke'. My eyes wavered to the wall behind him where three vintage samurai swords hung. He followed my line of sight and let out a small 'uhhh'.

He attacked the heart and home, they said.

Ma had nobody but me and no matter what she did I was always certain in her love. She was a mother, love came unconditionally, and that had nothing to do with ineffective parenting styles.

'You realize don't you?' He asked as one would to 'pass the butter'.

I nodded. Mr. Wilson gestured to the table, indicating I eat.

'The arrangement is convenient in ways you don't yet understand…. I'll be away for a while. Raisa will take care of you. Mr. Gold escort you to and from school and deal with you accordingly should the need arise.'

A tall bald man stepped forward when acknowledged. He wore a suit with shiny shoes, a tattoo beginning at his wrist then ducking out of sight at his cuff. The man did not draw power in the way Mr. Wilson did but he had a silent air about him in his hovering presence; a silence that could wrap itself around you closing off the passages of air.

'Can I see my ma?' The question surprised me, slipping accidently form my mouth and pausing tensely in the air.

Mr. Wilson regarded me closely then shrugged, not bothering with an answer. The response made my cheeks flare and a latent clawing anger want to tear from my chest, so far fear had been the only thing suppressing it.

Mr. Wilson pushed himself away from the table.

'Goodbye, love, be good' He said nonchalantly and left me alone at the table full of food. My stomach had an ache, the burning emptiness that came with hunger but my throat had swollen shut, and nothing was going to pass through. The whole scene made me sick but I stayed sitting paralyzed as if Mr. Wilson was still sitting across from me.

'Come on, Zayushka' Raisa nudged gently and led me back to my room.

Now the curtains were open you could see the whole city through a floor length window. The trendy streets were directly below, Queen Consolidated rose as a skyscraper to the right, and the left, spread like grime, was the Glades; the dark grim streets contrasting the starch and sleek Business district.

Rasia let me be in the room, shutting the door softly.

My hands itched for my laptop, to hack and code; fall into the mathematics of computers, problems could be solved there, and mysteries never lasted, a safe place in which logic reigned.

Roy would be burning hot now. That's how he got when trouble became serious. He had this rage he couldn't contain; you could see it in his movements always needing to get out. The underground fight ring took care of the excess when times were ordinary. Roy would punch until his knuckles turned bloody, smearing through the tightly wound bandages. I wanted him to be safe but knew the boy better to let myself be deluded. He'd tear up the city for me as I would for him.

The room was becoming claustrophobic. It was big, feeling even larger with a high ceiling and entire wall that functioned as a window. I felt elevated from the world, hovering on a platform. It could have been something out of a new sci-fi movie, the sort commercially released with sets that look sterile, expensive, and lonely. Even dark and dingy home appeared friendly in comparison; that place had stunk of familiarity the sort that began to drown you after so many years.

Boredom does a funny thing to courage, it began to suck up the fear and make me fidget. Pacing didn't slow the descent. There was nothing in this room, just a few clothes in a generally empty walk in closet and the essentials in the bathroom. All other drawers were empty.

Venturing outside my designated quarters came not out of bravery, but sheer desperation to see something other than my closing in confines. My steps were soft and slow, toes pointed as if I was dancing a music-less swan lake. Rasia was singing in the kitchen in soft Russian, and peeking into the living area I saw the large and intimidating Cyrus Gold with his legs propped up on the coffee table, flicking through a magazine. No one else seemed present in the large penthouse apartment and the corridor of rooms was mine to explore if I dared be so stupid.

The first room locked, but the second had treasures. A library opened up; floor to ceiling shelves filled with books that could have made me squeal in joy. Was this how Belle felt in the grand castle of the beast? A fairy tale comparison didn't seem right. How little the storybooks ever talked of fear, dread, and actual danger.

Still, a suppressant of boredom was needed and I'd found a possible cure. History, Fiction, Science; the selection was vast yet a door to the side was what captured my interest. Being on the left side meant it'd lead into the locked room. Curiosity was going to kill the cat because my hand was already turning the knob and pushing against the wood.

Unlike the other rooms in the house, which lacked curtains, this room was dark, completely pitch black until my eyes adjusted to yet another bedroom. There were steadily beeping lights and medical equipment surrounding an elaborate four-poster bed, which completely encompassed lay, a body. She seemed asleep from the steady rise and fall of her breath, controlled by an oxygen mask.

I ran. Stumbling out then falling against a hard object.

'Shouldn't have been in there, girl'

A growl so deep I wondered how it could be human. Cyrus.

His grip on my arms were hard, a brute force that wanted to hurt. His hand hit against my head, smacking over ear, making them ring. I would have fallen if not in his grasp. He pulled me back to my bedroom; I caught Raisa looking timidly from afar, a call on her lips that didn't have the courage to come out.

Cyrus tossed me in, locking the door with a decisive click.

When my head felt straight I wondered who had been in that room. Even from a distance I knew it hadn't been my mother, whose blonde always caught the light. The women, maybe just a girl, had dark hair, possibly black.

I supposed they'd let me out for the next meal and I had to be content spending my time staring out the window at the miniature city below. Starling was so different from Vegas. Both cities had dark side, but in the City of Sin the light seemed as bad as the dark. That thick heat that came under the clear blue skies, it could kill, and would if you let it. Here the dark remained traditional to the noir genre, preferring night's shadows and sheltered alleyways, a silent witness instead of willing participant.

Crawling into bed seemed the only logical option. The day wasn't particularly cold but the blankets still held a comfort. Falling asleep wasn't my intention, just like the previous night, yet it came to be; a dreamless deep sleep that comes when life is spiraling feeling heavy with anxiety and exhaustion. Was this all I would do? Sleep and wake. Sleep and eat.

Rasia woke me up a second time. My clothes were only a little ruffled and my hair had kept its tight braid with only a few fly away strands, easily tucked a way with a smoothing hand.

'Mr. Gold is gone now, Zayushka, come on now' She opened the door wide and led me to the living room.

'Who was in that room? The woman….'

Raisa began cluttering around the kitchen, beginning preparations for dinner, I gestured for her to let me peel the potatoes, and then waited patiently for an answer to my first question.

'That was Mrs. Wilson. Shado. She has been in a coma for many years now, a vegetated state. It's very sad.' It surprised me Mr. Wilson had a wife. I'd seen him from afar with various women on his arm and no wedding ring ever appeared on his finger.

I hushed myself and focused on the task. They said I could return to school, my current situation, being here, was temporary. Handling it would become easier with distance.

Escape. That word sounded forbidden even on silent lips.

Escape could be possible back at school. You could do almost anything with a computer. I'd book a flight, change my identity, runaway. Roy would come, but what about Ma? Was she still in the hospital?

I'd have to commit a few federal crimes and wasn't completely confidant that I wouldn't get caught. I was good at hacking, impressive really since I was fifteen, but certainly not unreachable by the law at this point. Sometimes I forgot that.

The knife slipped but the pain wasn't immediate, it didn't begin until I looked down. The potato dropped to the sink, a pink smear on the side while blood began to bubble up from the skin and drip.

'Oh' was all I could say.


End file.
